


Whatever It Takes

by neonsunrise (pointedragon)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, Gen, Goodbyes, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Infinity Stone Soul World (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25273525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pointedragon/pseuds/neonsunrise
Summary: "Agent Romanoff?"She knew that voice.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Whatever It Takes

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Nirmal & Julie for the beta. *blows kiss*
> 
> -Neon

For some reason, the first things Natasha noticed were her hands. She held them in front of her – they were shaking. Her whole body quivered like a leaf caught in a thunderstorm, and, like a leaf, she felt utterly helpless. In her wrist, she could still feel the warmth of Clint’s touch. Her face felt the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

She clutched her arms tight around herself to ward off the chill within. _She must be dead._

The place in which she now stood was just as hauntingly beautiful as Vormir. Where Vormir was all deep purples and blues with the rock pinnacle – Red Skull’s haunt – dark against the skyline, this new place had an air of finality to it, like a permanent sunset. The sky was painted tangerine and seemed to blend with the crimson water; it was difficult to say where one ended and the other began. Instead of the rock spire, a black pagoda stood in contrast to the sky.

Natasha looked down at her feet, which she could see now were submerged beneath glowing water. How could everything seem so dark and so full of light all at once?

Slowly, as if every step might end her, she waded towards the pagoda.

She remembered crashing into the rocks. She remembered the _crack_ that marked the end of her life – but she also remembered something beyond that. A dizzying, indescribable feeling, like she had suddenly split into a million pieces, all flying skyward. It felt like freedom. She soared higher, higher – each fragment of her glowing brighter as she climbed…and now she was here.

Natasha reached out with a hand and touched one of the pagoda’s posts. It was smooth, like glazed wood, but it was likely a material she had never seen before. Her gaze followed her fingers upwards, towards the lofty ceiling of the structure. With a sigh, she stepped away. She hugged herself as she looked out at the endless horizon.

“Whatever it takes,” she whispered. She realized she would never know for sure if it worked. Did Clint get the soul stone? Did everyone else manage to get the other stones on their respective missions? It was such a long shot that she could feel her insides crushed by the weight of the task. Yet, at the same time, she knew. If ever a group of people could pull this off, it was her family. Where doubt existed, hope rose to meet it.

Time seemed to stretch on forever, and Natasha wondered if she would ever leave this moment, with her feet submerged in an endless lake, hanging on to an eternal sunset.

And then everything changed.

“Agent Romanoff?”

She knew that voice.

She turned quickly, water splashing around her legs. He was wading towards her, his face a mixture of confusion and relief. He wasn’t wearing his suit; instead he was dressed in a long-sleeve navy waffle-weave and black trousers. The arc reactor glowed on his chest. He looked a million years old, yet his features glowed with happiness. Looking at him, Nat knew the plan had worked, and she couldn’t stop the little grin that tugged at the corner of her mouth.

He looked around, taking in the shades of orange and scarlet around him as he moved forward. “Am I hallucinating right now? Yeah, I don’t see how I couldn’t be.” His eyes found hers. “Life wouldn’t be perfect enough that you would be here to see me, after we all lost you.” His lips pressed together, as if he was holding back tears. It was a look Natasha had seen before, but only in his most vulnerable moments. She started moving, wading to meet him.

“Tony,” she said. “I don’t know how, but I’m real. I promise.” She stopped beside him and reached for his hand.

Tony’s grip was tight. “We did it, you know,” he said. “I think you’d have wanted to know. Banner brought everyone back and I – I took out Thanos and his army. We had a couple close calls. But we did it.”

Natasha’s brow furrowed. “Thanos came back?”

Tony looked defeated, his eyes falling towards the lake. “He came back through time like we did. There were two blue robot ladies. It was trippy, you should’ve seen it.”

Natasha squeezed his hand. Her smile was soft as she said, “It’s okay that I didn’t see it. I was right there with you when you did it. I’m always with all of you.”

“They miss you,” Tony said. His gaze met hers. His eyes were so brown, and the loss was potent in them. “They won’t forget you.”

“We said it,” Natasha whispered. “And we did it. We said, _whatever it takes.”_

“Whatever it takes,” Tony repeated. He gave a deep cough, and it jarred him. Suddenly there were tears on his cheeks, and he was sobbing heavily. His hand jerked out of Natasha’s and clutched his own chest, over his heart, like it _ached_.

“I think I’m going to leave them,” Tony cried, and he lurched forward into Natasha’s arms. She held on tight, anchoring him. “I’m dying, Romanoff. Not for the first time, but I think this time it might really be it. I’m going to leave Pepper, and the kids, Cap, everyone. I’m leaving them alone.”

“You’re dying?” she murmured, concern blossoming in her chest. In the distance, something flared bright and orange in the sky.

“Not here, back there. I’m dying. The snap tore me apart. I can’t – I won’t be there for them. Morgan’s going to grow up without a dad. Peter’s going to _lose_ his dad, again. And Pepper – ” Tony seemed unable to say any more. Pepper had always been the most important thing to him, the one person that stood by his side through everything.

Natasha could feel the depth of his grief in her own heart. She thought of Clint and Steve and Banner, of Thor and Wanda. None of them deserved to lose a friend, let alone two.

She echoed Tony’s words from earlier. “They’ll miss you. They won’t forget you.”

It wasn’t enough. The words seemed meaningless against the inevitability of loss and grief.

Tony’s face was buried in Natasha’s shoulder. “I’m scared,” he said. “Were you?”

She closed her eyes. “I was terrified.” She imagined herself falling, remembered the look of devastation on Clint’s face. “But I know I made the right choice. And so did you, Tony.”

Time was tricky to judge in that in-between place. An eternity or a few seconds could have passed as they stood there in silence, clutching onto one another under an apricot and vermillion sky.

Eventually Natasha pulled back. Again, it fell on her to tell someone she loved to let go. “Go back,” she urged. “You need to see them all one last time. Only then can you truly rest.”

Tony said nothing, but Natasha could see the gratitude in his eyes.

He vanished. Natasha was left holding empty air. Again, she stared at her hands, only now they didn’t tremble.

She turned and looked forward.

Into solitude. Into peace.


End file.
